After the Ecstasy, the Laundry - Baby blues...

Our society is backwards when it comes to having a baby (so a friend told me). We expect women to rest and put their feet up in pregnancy and after the baby get's here we immediately expect them to get back to some physical standard, back to work, back to their multi-tasking abilities and cope with adding a new personality into the mix and, oh I forgot, be sure to keep that little person alive...

When I fell into the post-partum depression hole I was surprised that most moms (or mums) have been there too. Even generations back... And I got to thinking... There is a book that I've been meaning to read for the last five years and it's called: After the Ecstasy, the Laundry.  Of course, this book has little to do with babies and more to do about assimilating into society after a spiritual awakening... but then I thought... actually, birth for me is like a spiritual awakening... and YES, there is a ton of junk that comes with it. 

So here's my Story....

red in the left eye from rotation through the pelvis

After the perfect Star was born, she latched and slept and everything was grand!  Then the health visitors said she wasn't gaining weight.  They let me go for a week continuing what I was doing but still the Star wouldn't gain weight.  Finally they said we would have to top up; either formula or expressed breast milk. I couldn't understand it! She was nursing and it seemed like she was getting a lot and it didn't hurt when she was nursing.  But she was clicking while feeding and getting lots of air into her belly (aka - wind).  So I started to express and cry and express and cry some more.  Topping up was fine but she couldn't even open her mouth wide enough to try a bottle... so we had to syringe feed. Finally I went to the British lactation consultant that saw us with Sophie. (Sophie didn't have any feeding issues but we needed help with positions and typical first time mom breastfeeding advice)  The LC (Sarah) recommended I see an osteopath first.  Apparently, due to the rapid delivery her jaw needed to be relaxed. And so we did! But not after a week of crying and trying to get her jaw to relax and syringe feeds and crying and guilt! (Insert - I would have gladly been in labor longer to not have put so much stress on her) The osteopath confirmed it and massaged her jaw and neck to help release the tension. We went back to the LC and she confirmed there was also a tongue tie!

Notice how the tongue does not extend past the lips - 1st sign TT

(What is with so many tongue ties lately??) It was 25% and the LC recommended we clip it. Seren needed to feed, NOW! And Mom needed to be relieved, NOW! So the next day, the LC (who is also certified/educated in a ton more things) came over and clipped it. It was fast! Daddy held her and Sarah clipped it. I then tried to nurse her in between cries.  While she nursed there was no clicking and then she fell asleep. When she woke up she became hysterical, I sobbed and we eventually fell asleep again. At 2am, Seren woke up to nurse and She DID IT! And then she woke again at 5am and did it again! And again and again... And then the fog lifted! All of a sudden, I could think clearly.  I didn't fear going outside or seeing people.

See during this ordeal, I had stopped wanting to go outside. I didn't want to see anyone.  I couldn't make decisions for the future. I couldn't even think past the next feed. I did a lot of crying.  And I especially didn't want to take both kids out at once.  I had to call Mike home from work several times because I couldn't cope. I cut myself off for the first month of Seren's life, and only went out when forced.  I couldn't think of any thing else... This feeding issue was my number 1 thought! And the guilt was overwhelming..

And this is why I will be a different post-partum doula! Because I've experienced this.. 

This is my dirty laundry that is airing dry at the moment because everything is appearing to be better... but this is record that once it was not and that was OK.

coping... just coping... 

It's funny how in moments of need, the community that you cultivate comes out in force to support and lift you up.  With Sophie I knew no one! It was hard because we had no family or friends near by to help.  Skype was the best outlet.  But she was the first so eventually all family wanted to come meet her.  With Seren, there is still no family close by, skype is still the best outlet but she's the second so there is less urgency to see her in person.  Luckily, the community I've created over the past 4 years has become vast and now I can't walk out my door without seeing a yoga student, a former pregnancy student, a mom friend or a doula client.  Without this community, I would likely still be in the deep depression hole.. so Thank You! Thank you for being my friend and for holding me up while I was down...

And we will continue to work on our issues... One day at a time (as several moms have siad to me)

The Birth of a Star... Seren Lou's story...

This is the Birth story of

Seren Llewellyn Rachanow...

**I'm a strong believer in writing the birth story... This is because we forget! 

We forget the important parts. And then we forget to tell our children when it's time for them to have their children.  Birth is important! One day maybe robots will be doing it for us... or maybe there will be a complete breakdown of technology and we will be doing it au natural again... Either way, it's important that you know how you got here!**

The weeks leading to your arrival were busy.  I had dreams that I was in labor but would wake up to no baby.  On April 22nd I had nothing to do... I mean nothing! No school, no yoga, no work, no cleaning, no cooking, nothing... Your big sister, Sophie lou, was at her childminders playing all day and daddy was at work; and so... I was alone with Brian the dog (of course).  I decided that maybe some TV would be fun to watch so I turned on some documentaries by a funny British presenter. I was just resting and worrying about your position. (You were ROA and I needed you to be LOA)  I felt some deep period pains every once in a while but I didn't pay them any mind at first.  After the 3rd tv show I decided to time the tightening but they were like 20 minutes apart so I just carried on with what I was doing.

Around 3:30pm I decided to take Brian on the dog walk. So we suited up!  It was a beautiful sunny Spring English day.  We were walking in front of the Cathedral when I thought it would be a good idea to call Daddy to let him know that he might have to pick me up if I couldn't make it the whole 3 miles (I also gave him shopping list).

In front of the Cathedral, after a couple steps, I felt a gush!
Like a water balloon popped in my pants. I stopped dead in my tracks! (good thing I had a pad on) Immediately, panic set in! Only 10% or so of womens waters go before the onset of labor. We don't have a history of spontaneous rupture of membranes and I know that on the British system I would only have 48 hours to birth you. The clock started ticking... So I called daddy and told him that he better come home, although he could take his time. I then called our doula, Tera.  And then we headed home, but not before Brian did a poo in the middle of a school group. le sigh..

I checked the pad and the waters were clear! (thank god!)  So I called the hospital (the Rosie Birthing unit in Cambridge).  They asked me to come in to verify that it was amniotic fluid and that they would send me home after since we were a planned home birth. So I got a bag ready!  Then I deflated the birthing pool (obviously that was bad luck to have it inflated - hormonal craziness).  Daddy got home at about 4:30pm and we headed for the hospital.  But of course it was rush hour... I was having some cramping but nothing I couldn't talk through and joke through... I told daddy all about the protocol that could/would happen and then I mentioned that we could get a Bubble tea in Cambridge after they did the check.  Of course daddy was timing the cramping and said they were 7 minutes apart so there was no way we were getting Bubble tea.  To which I replied... "what's the point then, let's just go home! Turn around"  And so we did! I called the Rosie to let them know that we weren't coming in... They said no problem, and they got in touch with the homebirth midwife. She called and said that she was going home for some tea and would call me around 6ish to see how things were going.

Around 5:30pm, we got home! I called Grandma to let her know I was in labor (she likes to know these things) and then I headed upstairs. I turned on my hypnobirthing music and I just moved around from bed to floor to bed chanting my mantra.  Meanwhile, Daddy went to go get Sophie from the childminder.  When he got back he helped me change clothes and put on the tens machine. I had gotten a towel out for the floor so I could do some yoga type moves and moaning... Daddy was trying to get the pool set up upstairs while sophie was climbing a tree in the back garden.  He then dialed Tera (the doula) and put the phone next to me and said "tell her to come now".  I called and said, "Mike needs you" and after hanging up realized that actually I probably needed her more. I ended up calling the midwife too as the cramping was getting very strong.  Much stronger than it had been with Sophie.  Sophie came and sat with me and Brian. We roared like lions... And we moved all around... and I explained that everything was okay and normal...

Around 7pm, everyone got to us!  I was on the towel on the floor... hot/cold/nauseous/etc... and the 1st midwife arrived.  I think her name was Louise, she was the conservative one... I talked at her to let her know how I was feeling and how the cramping was very strong.  Tera came in to check on me and reassure me to do what I felt.

I had no control of my body... My soul, my mind...who I am.. was just along for the ride. 

Then my body got stuck, it was like I couldn't move my legs... Tera told me to change positions.. but my mind was thinking I can't... but my body just did it!  I was on all fours and more fluid came out on the white towel.  It was yellow! Meconium! Panic!  I immediately turned to the midwives (the 2nd was there too, much more cheery) and asked if I was going to be transferred to the hospital.  They said, No!  There was no time for that.  The baby was coming... I went to the toilet and the conservative midwife said no, no... not the toilet. So I got in the pool...  It was so warm and refreshing... The perfect moment of relief! And then I felt it! The uncontrollable urge to push... The first push I could feel her move down low... the midwives said to breathe and relax... again, my mind couldn't do anything but my body just did... The second push was your head! "I can see the HEAD" said the midwife... At that time Tera brought Sophie upstairs so she could properly meet you.  One last push and I was vocal as I could be... and you floated away from me into the water, not even knowing you were born!  

7:40pm on April 22nd, 2015 ~ Earth Day and my Sisters Birthday...

The midwife picked you up and gave you to me. Your cord was long!!! Sophie saw you come out of the water.  Daddy was at one hand and the 2nd midwife was at the other.  Luckily, Tera found our camera and took some pictures. You were purple and crying and perfect! We stayed in the pool for a long time but eventually just went to our bed were we snuggled as a family for the night.

You were born at home, same as your sister, in the United Kingdom! 

And in these moments, I had a glimpse of God... and the Universe... and the meaning of life itself... I will take care of you, forever! 

"You who belong to all have become mine"

Birth of an American

Birth! It's a touchy subject! 

Everyone has an opinion on it and everyone has a story to tell. Each birth is unique and each birthing mom is coming from a special place.

First let me just say that here is your disclaimer! My views may be completely off and you have the opportunity to stop reading this right now! If you continue to read it's your own fault. 

I've been reading a lot of Ina May Gaskin (probably the most famous midwife of all times and she's American) lately and there was something that is in her book, Spiritual Midwifery, that really struck me. She says (in basic terms) that a labouring woman shouldn't complain and should just get on with it.  Specifically a mom recalls a conversation with Ina "The Farm women have a really good reputation with the local hospital because of how they had their babies, and if I started blubbering at everything, how was I going to have a baby without anesthesia?"  Ina May's husband wrote "If all your life you never do anything heavy, there's certain passages in life that are heavy. Having a baby, for instance, is one. If you be a total paddy-ass all your life they're going to have to knock you out when you have your kid, because you're going to be too chicken to have it. And if you do something that builds character ahead of time, you'll have enough character that you can have that kid, and it will be a beautiful and spiritual experience for you."

Firstly, I love the 70's language! Secondly, for some reason in my tiny American mind I was offended by this tough love idea. Not complain?!?! Seriously!  Birth is hard work and I want to complain all day long about it.  And so I really had an opportunity here to think about why I would even consider being offended by this concept.

Now this is a generalisation (which people shouldn't make but here it goes) to me it seems like Americans are wimps when it comes to birth.  There I wrote it. Before you start going nuts on me, hear me out.  I've been living in the UK for just over 2 years now. And (it might be the area I'm in) but I've seen that birth could be a different way. I hardly hear British women complaining about pain. Or complaining about anything really.  In my observation they really do live by that "Keep Calm and Carry On" propaganda poster. Strange, I know. But when it comes to birth I think they have a point.  Ina May originally wrote this book in the 70's during a sort of revolution in the States. And it still really applies now. We (or US) are scared of birth and we've been taught to be afraid. 1 in 3 women in the US will have a cesarean. Not because she needs one either. Your mom has probably told you a horrific story about how she was in twilight sleep during birth or even tied down. (historical reference) Most women will see an Obstetrician (a trained surgeon) rather than a midwife (a trained natural birth attendant).  Movies and media still show birth as a terrifying and horrific event.  And when you go to your pregnancy visits it's more likely that something unnecessary will be said to you that will make you question your natural abilities to birth a baby. (Oh, the power of words!  They can stop a mom right in the middle of birth!)  Not to mention that some OB's have never seen a baby born naturally. Strange?!?!

And your probably wondering Why?  Why is this happening?  And well, US the people that have stood up for freedom and have fought tooth and nail to preserve our freedom have been taken advantage of. Now in the birth realm, we realise that it's not other countries we need to fight but it's our own. It's a shame but we are doing this to ourselves. We are perpetuating a culture of fear!  And giving our hard earned money to medicalize birth because we are afraid of pain. It makes me sad that women are scared of pain. Don't get me wrong, I have a seriously low pain tolerance but the pain in birth is only there for a short (usually) amount of time and that pain means that there is something amazing happening with your body to bring another life into this world. And again this is a personal opinion but during birth I learned something very important. My whole life I have been trying not to Feel! I prided myself on being hard and not feeling feelings... And well during birth I learned that it's okay to feel feelings. Birth softens the soul. Without that transformation what kind of women would we be?  Or more importantly, what kind of children would we have?

And I just keep wondering what happens when birth is completely medicalized and the zombie's come and the end of the world happens. (insert humour) What then? How will women have their babies without a hospital?  But don't worry, they will! And here is the lesson - a pregnant woman has no control over birth (the process - yes, but actual birth - no). And a birth partner, OB or midwife has no control over birth either.  Birth happens! And it will happen when that baby is ready to be born.  And, well...  either you can enjoy the transition into motherhood or you can clench your teeth and fight it.  But at some stage you have to surrender to birth. And this is where I think Ina May's tough lesson comes from. What she is trying to get across is that you are strong! "Your body is stronger than your mind will ever have you believe". So just trust it! Relax and just go with it and make it a psychedelic good time...

Camping in the UK - North Wales

North Wales is by far the most beautiful place in all of the UK!

And I'm not just saying that because my family may or may not be from there. It was seriously, breath taking!  And if you come to visit us, we will try to take you there!

Prince Llewelyn 

On another furlough adventure we stayed in Snowdonia National Park.  Huge mountains! Fantastic landscapes and more history and castles than you could ever imagine. And I mean prehistoric history... Lots of stone circles and burial chambers, Roman ruins, and castles built by the two Llewelyn's!

We took a train to the top of Snowdonia Mountain and considered hiking back (until we realized we have a toddler). We checked out a Slate mine, harassed some church ladies, visited several towns, burial chambers and castles and I would still go back there in a heart beat.

Toddler attempting to run off Snowdonia mountain

In a previous life, you could probably find Mike and I rock climbing in a place like this... but a las we will need to wait for Sophie to get older to join us.

Beauty comes with a price though... On our 3 day adventure there it rained for 24 hours straight. When we got there we picked a camp site near a little stream and thought nothing of if. After 24 hours of rain I was convinced we would be washed away by the stream that turned into a river with a waterfall. Luckily, we were okay! We did have to finally splurge and buy Sophie her first pair of Wellington's (rain boots) due to the tireless effort to keep her shoes dry. But even with all that rain... it was still gorgeous!

Your history lesson for today is: North Wales was the last hold out by the Welsh against the English. This is the land where Llewelyn the Great and Prince Llewelyn came from. And if you go there you can see why they wanted to hold out. Prince Llewelyn was killed in battle by the army sent my Edward I (also known as Longshanks). (side note: one of my best friends last name is Shanks - coincidence?) Edward I then went to Wales and built a series of expensive castles so that he would hold control.  The Welsh people that basically gave Llewelyn up told the King that they would betray Llewelyn if he gave them a Prince that didn't speak English and that was born in Wales. So Edward did just that.  His wife was pregnant and gave birth to their son at Caernarfon Castle in North Wales. They say that he was born in the castle but turns out that the castle wasn't completed at the time of his birth. But any way, Edward took his son and presented him to the people and said here is your Prince of Wales; born here and doesn't speak any English. =/ And so started the tradition of the English monarch's son being the Prince of Wales...

Caernarfon Castle

Camping in the UK - Lakes district

So your probably wondering... How the heck do these people get to do so many vacations?  Well I'll tell you... Our family mission in the UK is one thing... TRAVEL! See the things that are important and find the place that we might want to retire. Cause let's be honest retiring in Maryland sounds boring!

Any way, with the furlough we have been required to take mandatory days without pay. A bitter sweet scenario really.  Here's a 20% pay cut and a day off.  Luckily, we have no outstanding debt so we are able to take the hit and walk away figuring out how to travel with less cash.  And the answer to that is.... CAMPING!!!

So this is how we did it...
1. Bought a second hand tent! Yup, that's right! Used once but totally worth it. It's a British tent so it's amazingly waterproof (cause it rains a lot here!)
2. Shop for all food at the base! The economy is still 1.6 to the $1 so no more buying food out in the world. Keep it simple and avoid the processed American junk. Hard to do but well worth the budget!
3. No alcohol! - Camping with a toddler that is constantly trying to put her life in danger this is a no brainier.
4. Cheap Campsites - All over the UK there are working farms that rent out spaces for cheap. We paid 5 pounds per person. And running drinking water is available, hot showers and toilets!
5. Take the Dog! - no dog sitting here. It's an arm and a leg to board Brian... so we take him with us.

6. Save your Pounds for the sites! - There are so many sites all over this country. I'm a fan of history so we always hit the most important historical things in the area.

Our first camping trip (and Sophie's first camping trip) was to the Lakes District - North and Westish England.  It's fantastic there! Great hiking and amazing people! We saw the towns where Beatrix Potter was inspired to write Peter Rabbit (which just happens to be Sophie's favourite show at the moment) and the place where Wordsworth was inspired to write his poetry. The landscape is amazing with hidden lakes and tall peaks to climb. Tons of animals! But not the kind you would find in the US. More tame animals like cows, sheep, birds, rabbits, etc.

Speaking of rabbits... fun fact: Lots of tourists come through the lakes district (probably because its one of the most beautiful places in England). We saw tons of Americans and Asians (is this still PC?). And the best part of the trip was when Sophie ploughed through all the tourists to watch the peter rabbit screen at the Beatrix Potter story. No one gets in her way when it comes to Peter Rabbit. The girl has passion!

When you hear the word Liverpool, What do you think? Does Slave trade come to mind? Well it should!

My mom and I had this on going disagreement that Liverpool was just more than the Beatles. She said it didn't matter. All that mattered was the best Rock Band ever came out of Liverpool... The Beatles. Ok, Who can argue with that?

Well... I can! That's who.  And since it's my blog I will!  Don't get me wrong... I dig the Beatles. I even have them on my yoga play list. And in fact, I really respect how they all went to India (a British colony, I might add) and took a very Eastern approach to things. George even learned to play the sittar.  But any way... Liverpool is more than just the Beatles!  It's been a famous place in history for a long time. The Beatles is just what we know right now...

And this is your history lesson for today... Liverpool was at the center of immigration to the New World.  In fact, they were considered the last port of call for the Slave trade.  Your probably thinking... wait a minute... slave trade?!?! Didn't they come from Africa?  Well yes! The British rounded up African's and packed them on a boat and brought them to Liverpool and sold them to the New World for fancy goods. Sounds awefully harsh now adays but that's just how it went down.  Liverpool is home to the International Slave Museum.  And if you go to Liverpool make sure you don't miss this museum.  It's free! And right down the street from the Beatles Story.  And in my opinion there should be a duplicate at the Smithsonian in Washington DC.

So you could probably tell that I'm anti-slavery.  Because I do believe that our actions have permanent consequences and I do believe that no person should belong to another. And unfortunately we have seen it over and over again that history repeats itself... And this museum sums it up by saying "The story of transatlantic slavery is a fundamental and tragic human story that must be told and retold, and never be forgotten."  Similar to the Holocaust, similar to 9/11. We must never forget these moments in history. As we can learn and evolve from every story.


These are some pictures that I took at this museum.  Our guidebook said it was worth a look at and I highly recommend it.  And again, I still have no idea why this museum isn't in the US.  Because it really should be.


So then slavery was out-lawed in England. And finally someone got the memo that it's not nice to buy and sell other people so then what did Liverpool do?  Well, it was the major Port city in England so the next big thing would be to be the center of the Immigration to the New World. And most likely if your family immigrated to America or Canada in the 1830's to 1930's it was more than likely that they came to Liverpool.

Even the Irish came through Liverpool.  It was the hub of immigration! Just like how Heathrow is the hub now, Liverpool played a very important role on getting people to North America.

And now you know that Liverpool is way more than just the Beatles. And in fact, so much has happened there that it's really the hub of change for all peoples. It just so happened that the Beatles grew there band in an area that was already historically important.  And once again put Liverpool on the map!

Wales

We took a short weekend trip to Mid and South Wales.  This is the land where my people are from... or so they say.  I'm pretty sure that most American's are just mutts and we just need to get on with being American's.  Which brings me to a funny story... One day we took a family member to Ireland and this family member went up to an Irish guy and said "oh my family is from here".  The Irish guy said "oh, I have a cousin in America. You must know them."  HAHAHAHA!!! 1st of all; everyone is Irish on St. Patricks Day.  2nd of all; there was a huge immigration in the 1800's of Irish to America so chances are most American's are Irish one way or the other.  Especially if your family was Catholic Irish because they didn't (don't) believe in birth control.  Just sayin...

I digress... back to Wales. The size of Massachusetts with 600 some odd castles.  Your probably thinking... What!?!? 600?!?!? Yup, you read this right!  The Welsh have been pretty busy fighting off the British for a long time.  So they have tons of Castles and castles ruins.  In the end, they came into the Union. But not before Prince Llewellyn got into a good fight with them.  You might be thinking... Llewellyn?!?!? I know someone with that last name... Yup, that's right... ME!  But who knows if I'm actually related to this Prince. And frankly, I'm not sure I want to be related.  Both his siblings tried to assassinate him but were unsuccessful. Kinda sounds like my family but I'm going to say that we've come a long way from then.

And after all that fighting peace came across the land (or so called peace).  The Welsh still speak their language and have signs written in Welsh.  I have to say that you've never seen so many L's in all your life!  The landscape is amazing! But if you've ever been to Pennsylvania or upstate New York you would probably understand why some Welsh immigrated to this area.  It looks almost exactly the same! Minus the harsh weather. And Plus the un tapped Coal Mining.

And so I realize that I could do the work to trace my family roots back to Wales (probably northern Wales) or I could just enjoy the nostalgia from saying I'm probably welsh.  Because after all people immigrated to the New World for all sorts of reasons... And sometimes the stories of better living out weigh the stories of Oh your great grand father might have been involved in a scheme involving a fire and insurance money at a coal mine that ended up with him having no choice but to move to America.  And this is why the old people in your family "Don't talk about it!" Le sigh...

Grandma goes to Ireland

Just recently my Mom joined us for a trip back to Ireland for 4th of July.  If anyone is Irish, I would bet it's my Mom.  She looks like a leprechaun! Red hair and all!

Any way, we did a 10 day road trip around Ireland.  And boy will that take a lot out of a car!  This was our itinerary...

Day 1 - Drive to ferry in Wales - 6 hours in the car - over night ferry ride. Arrive in Dublin at 6am
Day 2 - Drive to the Rock of Cashel in Cashel. See where St. Patrick baptized the heathen Pegan King (insert funny story where St. Patrick accidentally stabs King with his staff and King says nothing thinking that is the pain of being Catholic- hahahaha) - Continue drive to Cobh - last port of call for the Titanic and family genealogy research (insert - no real findings... boo hoo) - Continue drive to Kinsale - Culinary Capital of Ireland. (insert delicious pub food and beer!)
Day 3 - Drive to Dingle - Enjoy the country side. Stop at random Castle ruins (thanks a lot Cromwell - jerk) and explore Dingle. (insert more beer and Irish music)
Day 4 - Drive the Dingle Peninsula - See famine houses and fields.  Make Grandma hike almost vertical hill to see amazing view of Skelling Island and Dingle! (note - next time remember wind gear)
Day 5 - Drive to Doolin - Make Grandma hike difficult level trail to the Cliffs of Moher (insert - oops! but hell of a view) - Get a coffee at visitor center and take the bus back. It's not nice to make Grandma hike 2 days in a row - Finish the day with Beer and music!
Day 6 - Drive the Connemera National Park - enjoy the scenery! See the famine trail, famine ship and enjoy the weather (note: Ireland may have super HOT or super COLD weather). Stop off to visit the only family that mines Connemera marble. Buy stuff at their gift shop! Finish in Galway and collapse!
Day 7 - Tour Galway in the morning! See the Latin Quarter, the church, the claddagh ring maker, the crazy people down by the river. (Check that box!) Then drive to Laurencetown to visit Grandma's family town.  (Insert - Car almost breaking down, no part places in site and no tools - DAMN!  That's what we get for driving a 1999 van around the EU) High tail it pass Laurencetown to Dublin (stop at every part store on the way!). Check into Dublin and relax!
Day 8 - Let Man on road trip fix car! (sexist but S&%t he knows how to fix it). Women go tour Dublin. Visit St. Patrick's Cathedral, The Chester Beatty Library, The Dublin Castle, Walk the tourist trap area, shop!
Day 9 - Drink Guinness and tour more Dublin - get on ferry (filled with truckers) headed for Liverpool. Eat amazing trucker ferry dinner and have some beers (your among truckers - have a little fun)
Day 10 - Arrive at 6am in Liverpool! Drive around to Paul McCartney and John Lennons house (stalking them quietly as it's a residential area), Stop by Penny lane while people are trying to get their morning coffee (hahaha, they must get that all the time).  Wait for Beatles Story to open then take the tour (insert - Amazing!), See other sites and finish it all off with a 5 hour drive back to Ely.

I could practically run a touring company with a schedule like that! Hell of a trip and apart from missing the most important site on Grandma's list of places to go.. I think we did a pretty decent job of showing her the real Ireland.

As for missing Laurencetown (the place where they think our family comes from), I'm going to say that I'm fairly certain that it was not meant to be. Our car has never broken down in a foreign country before and it hasn't since (knock on wood). I wonder if those skeletons in the closest got the word that we were on the way and they had God intervene and break our vehicle. Just a thought...

Rome - The Eternal City

So I've taken a month to reflect on our trip to Rome.  I have to say that Rome is Amazing! And if you get a chance to go there... you should! It's got everything.. nice people, great food, amazing wine, history, ruins, culture on top of culture, art, and that all famous thing you don't talk about... religion!

Roman Market Ruins

1st off we were told "Watch out! You'll get pick pocketed in Rome!"  And yes, we did see this happen.  I kinda think we luck out though. We've never had any trouble (maybe due to the baby).  But we did see it happen to others.  At the main train station there were quite a few instances. First while buying a metro ticket people would help press the buttons for you and demand a tip. This only happened to us once and the other times we never had any trouble. But then in the supermarket (cause with a baby you always find the closest super market) there was an instance of a lady trying to pick pocket another lady and she found out. A near fight ensued and they both were kicked out.  The next day sure enough the pick pocket was back in the shop looking for new

where Caesar's body burned 

targets. And all this with a security guy watching... which leads me to this...  You wouldn't think that Italy is super poor or a needy country but it actually is in need. Look up their history.  It hasn't been that great since the Roman civilization crumbled. They have been in and out of political mess and struggle for a long time. And it's a shame. It's such an amazing place with lots of people that go out of their way to make you happy to visit. But it's a reminder that people gotta eat and if you get pick pocketed it's probably because they need it more than you.
We did almost get pick pocketed; as I leave a diaper bag just hanging out. But it only had diaper's and wipes and I think the guy that was going for it realized that it would probably not help him at all. But if it had... I would have gladly gave it over to him.

While in Rome we did as the Romans did. Drink the house wine! Wine flows like water in Italy and it's amazing.  This breaks one of my trip planning rules but heck... while in Rome!

Tombstones at the museum

The reason I like Rome is because it holds so much history and it corresponds to religious history. Hands down I should have been a history major. I love it!  And Rome's got it! Roman ruins are everywhere. Catacombs can be found in the city and out. It's amazingly preserved! And this is why it's the eternal city because it will always hold these great cultures from years past. But one of the most amazing things is... Rome holds the tombstones from a very important time in history. The time when religion changed history! When Roman emperor Constantine converted to Christianity.  Before then all Christians were treated really badly and I mean burn you on a stake badly. But Rome ruled the known world and the emperor converted to this little religion and bam! it changed everything.  This is reflected in the tombstones. They have Roman pagan tombstones, Christian tombstones and Jewish tombstones.  This was a HOLY COW moment for me... when the world changed. In the history books they even say in Rome you were

St Peters in Vatican City

killed to be a Christian and just 100 years later you were killed if you weren't a Christian. Crazy how fast something like that can move through the world.  But even then... the most amazing thing about these tombstones (no matter which religion) is that they all hold a positive message. A message of Peace and Love... time honored and humbling to see.

I can't post a blog without touching on the one topic your not supposed to talk about, Religion! We spent a lot of time in Vatican City. In fact, we ended up sacrificing a stuffed

Sistine chape

animal there (joking - we always loose a toy in every city we go to).  As a raised Roman Catholic (and a I don't know what I am now) I have to say that my initial impression of St. Peter's Cathedral was "Wow! This is over the top!" and I felt.... ASHAMED!  Yes, I said it ashamed to be Catholic (must be the catholic guilt).  It was so over the top that I thought of the people begging in the streets and pick pocketing and I couldn't get over it.  Logically I know the church does things but emotionally I was sad.  The grandeur and wealth was too much.  This is why I needed a month to reflect on our visit.  Because my whole life I was brought up to believe this certain thing (shoot I was even an alter girl) and here it was in front of me and I held this overwhelming guilt. And what brought me back from this was found in my yoga studies (believe it or not).

What I have come to understand is that each of us (as in each human) holds this capability (what we are good at) and that is a reflection of God (or what ever God means to you).  And so... these stone masons, artists, architects, etc have created through their own hand what God means to them and through their work we have a brief view of divinity.  I think this is why the Sistine chapel is so moving.  One man (Michelangelo), created this work of art. One man had a vision. And one man made it a reality. And in the end, that one man questioned if his soul would go to heaven.

Oh, Rome... I think the wine makes me think too much...

Random thought on... Suffering...

I think that so far this is the best 'period in time' to live!

I know this is a general assessment but really after studying some English and European history (and knowing American history) I'm really starting to be grateful that we as humans have come so far. And it got me to thinking... Through history people died a lot earlier from all sorts of reasons. Sometimes childbirth, sometimes social deviation, sometimes from other animals and sometimes from just not knowing the world around them.  But we (as humans) have come so far in just a little bit of time.

Consider that the (most famous - Black death) plagues were just in the 1300's and after that people were just so used to seeing death and dying that it was a normal, everyday thing to see public executions and tortures.  I especially think about this since we are living in England now. Throughout history the English were brutal (living here I think it's due to the weather) but they really had to be to keep social order.  This from a culture that now doesn't even allow guns.  But just a couple centuries ago it wouldn't have been anything out of the norm to see a head on a stake as you walked to the market.

So far we have come... And with the recent discovery of Jamestown in Virginia with the reports of cannibalism in the 1600's. I'm seriously amazed and shocked at the lengths that people will go to survive. (I don't know if I could ever do that) And this got me thinking...

All these instances in history have been brought about by suffering. Some sort of suffering. And this is something I have no concept of.  Because I live in 2013 as an educated western woman. I am free, I have the choice to go to school or not, I have the choice to work or not, I have the choice to be married or not. But back then we all had less choices. (And even just a generation ago we had less choices.)  Just a couple hundred years ago almost everyone saw a dead body! I've personally only ever seen an embalmed body at a funeral home (knock on wood). I think seeing a real dead person or a person being killed has different effects (I'm sure studies have been done) mentally and emotionally then viewing a body at a funeral home.

Any way, the point that I'm rambling on about is Suffering... I really think this is the best 'period of time' to live in because we suffer less. Don't get me wrong we still suffer... but rather than suffering because we are starving to death or there is a plague killing our families; now we are suffering because we are looking for our 'true self' or we are suffering because we can't stop ourselves from eating chocolate or because we just can't seem to get that corner office or because 'real' happiness is just out of reach. We are suffering for a whole nother (nother is not a word, but I like it) reason. But is it equal?!?! I don't know....

**I usually have these random thought conversations with my husband and he graciously reminded me that this thought process can only be applied to western culture. Because other people around the world still do suffer because they are starving and they are seeing their families being killed.  And it reminds me to be grateful for where I am today. And it puts my suffering into perspective, because what I think is a struggle is superficial in the bigger picture.**

Discuss among yourselves....

North Devon, England

 So your probably wondering where is Devon?!?! Well Devon is in south western England. It's on the way to that famous place called Cornwall but not as far. Devon takes up a fairly large chunk of the south west. From the north coast you can see Wales and from the South coast you look down to France (but never really see it). Last year we went to the south coast and this year we did the North. It was amazing being able to look at Wales. We still need to take some time in that country.

So North Devon is country! Lots of animal farms which means we did a lot of Moo ing and Bahhh ing with Sophie  This picture of the random phone booth really sums it up! Country! But not scary country... calm serene country...

Lots of things to do like hiking and taking pictures. All things that we really enjoy. We bought Sophie a bucket and shovel and she really enjoyed putting dirt and rocks in the bucket and finding all sorts of seashell treasures.

Best part was that we rented a cottage. If you come to England you should rent cottages! They are all different and usually they are cheaper than a hotel for families. So we hiked all day and made our way back to our 'home' away from home. Perfect long weekend!

Trip Planing

"Plans are nothing; Planing is everything" - Dwight Eisenhower

"Let our advance worrying become advance thinking and planning" - Winston Churchill

"Never look back unless you are planning to go that way" - Henry David Thoreau

"Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning" - Gloria Steinem

Planning travel is so tiring! I really should be used to it by now but a las I am not. I really don't know how these travel companies do it. Here I sit with a list of places I'd like to visit, comparing and contrasting airlines, hotels versus self catering, car rental and all of that versus time of the year. There is a lot to think about when your planning a trip. 

Here are the things I focus on first.

1. Where do I want to go?

2. When is shoulder season? It's a huge mistake to travel during peak season. Your wallet will thank this tip. The only thing you'll miss is crowds. 

3. Which airline is the best for family flying and cheap?

4. Which airline do I know won't hassle me about my baggage? We only ever Carry On. I'm against checking. You never need that much stuff to check a bag. And that is even with a baby.

5. Timing versus leave? Always very important to minimize the amount of leave. 

6. Accommodation - hotel/b&b/self catering/hostel/etc? Which is good for where and with a baby? This is usually the easy part. 

7. Trip schedule - where to go? what to do to maximize the time and sites? We hardly stay in one place for more that 2 to 3 days. Before the baby it was 1 to 2 days.

8. Must see's? - check with all people attending. Don't want to miss anything.

9. Trip Budget - 

So your probably thinking Trip Budget?!?! That should be number 1. Don't worry! I think about the funds constantly. Everything is scrutinized. And especially now that we are dealing with cuts.  It's time to figure out what's important. Is it more important to sit around our house all day every weekend while we are living in England for only a certain amount of time?  Or should we do what we came here to do and see the EU? Just like planning a wedding (or anything really) we decide what can be cut that will be of little importance to us.

This is how I cut back on our trip expenses without cutting the trips altogether....

a. take into account all transportation - flight, car, parking, etc. - which is cheapest?

b. hostels are awesome! Even babies like them!

c. sites are expensive - pick the must see's and really see them! Don't skip anything!

d. eat locally! markets are all over and yes you can get a loaf of bread, some cheese and make a sandwich while your site seeing.

e. no alcohol! Why do you want to get drunk in a foreign country? Especially if you don't speak the language. Stick to 1 or 2 drinks. Anything more could get into a misunderstanding very easily.  *unless your in Belgium. They have separate rules. 

f. no tipping - hardly any tipping in the EU anyway. Love that!

g. research everything! Your not the first to do anything! Someone else has already done it so look it up, ask questions and don't be disappointed! 

h. souvenirs? We very rarely buy anything. Pictures are our souvenirs. Plus, we can't allow the extra space in our luggage. But really if there is something local to the region that we can't live without we will get it. But it's always cheap. A tile of a Madonna and child from Italy, beer stein from Germany, but pictures are our main take away.

Enough of blogging... back to the travel planning I go.... 

Fuertaventura - The windy Island

It's Winter time in England and completely miserable. Cold, dreary, dark and damp... This is why people get the SADD. So this year we found a cheap trip south! To the Canary Islands.

So here's some facts:
The Canary Islands are off the coast of Northern Africa
The sand is like the sand in the dessert of Northern Africa
They are in line with Florida/Georgia in the US
Fuertaventura is pronounced: Foourta Ventura
The Canary Islands are owned by Spain
On Fuertaventura the British go North and the Germans go South

So we found this amazing cheap all inclusive deal for 2 adults and 1 baby. 4 hour plane ride with a super curious 15 month old. A little challenging but nothing we couldn't handle. Plus, perfect opportunity to teach Plane in Sign language. (side note: Sophie already knew the sign due to Mike's place of employment - genius!)

lava rock headed into the ocean

Right off the plane, we headed to the rental car place. Picked up our car and off we went, SOUTH! As you drive along it's dessert! And not just dessert like in Vegas or Arizona.  It's like Sahara dessert sand. Beautiful and still! And as you keep driving Mountains peak up into the sky and the valleys become long with old lava rock. Volcano's! the whole island is a cluster of volcano's. A beautiful warm cluster of volcanic Islands perfect for winter time. And perfect for some sun and fun!

at the hotel

beach

After arriving at our hotel we decided to take a drive around to check it out. The Island is literally a 2 hour drive to see everything. But the roads are a little tricky. Several cliffs and ditches along the road cause scary driving conditions. But the Island is beautiful and bare! And this is the reason it's the windy Island. Low brush, sand and rock. No real trees to block the wind.  But the island is so simple yet so complex. Lagoon's created in the lava rock from ages past with little swimming life generated. And truly these were blue lagoons. Wide open landscape with sand, mountains, rock and water. What more could you ask for?

unsure of sand

discovery of seashell treasure!

liking sand

This was also Sophie's first opportunity to feel sand between her toes. She loves walking in grass and other fun/gross things. I thought for sure she would love it. However, we are in the 15 month old Unsure of everything phase. And her new favorite words are No, No, No. So we gave it a try and at first she didn't like it. But after a day and a couple sea shell treasures, she finally loved it. There is something truly amazing as a child's first encounter with a new texture. Have you ever taken the time to just feel sand between your fingers? I love that she helps me slow down and re-live these small simple pleasures.

Our mini 4 day vacation was amazing and relaxing. The mainly German speaking resort that we stayed at was wonderful.  And it makes me appreciate the other ways human communicate to each other besides language. Having a baby in a foreign country is an open opportunity for people to talk to you. Everyone loves babies! And when you don't speak the same language, some how... when your talking about babies... the message always seems to get across.  It's a universal body language, a universal connection that all humans have. To care for each other and to help one another. And I love being a part of this living breathing Rock.
I can't wait for our next trip!

PS - I was able to sneak in a yoga class. =)