Introducing Sophia! A baby birth story

**Disclaimer - could be graphic. If you are easily offended or have strong feelings on birth then you should probably skip this post.**

From the mom's perspective:  

I have this theory: Pregnancy and birth are a natural and normal process. 

On Tuesday, October 25th at 11:30pm it started! Or at least I think it started. It could have started earlier but I was busy talking to my dad on Skype and fielding "Where is the baby?" messages. Any way, at 11:30pm I decided to join Mike and hit the hay! I had been practicing the Hypno Birthing relaxation CD since about 28 weeks pregnant and this evening was no exception.  The track is about 30 minutes long and typically by the end I would be fast asleep. But this night was different. I got through 30 minutes and was still awake. I thought that was weird. So I hit the bathroom and discovered some blood. Hummm... I thought. That is weird. So I woke Mike up and he reminded me to call the delivery unit at the hospital to see what we should do. (Under the British NHS system you call the hospital and they dispatch the local midwives) So that's what I did! They asked me if I was having contractions and honestly I didn't know. I was having period pains but it wasn't anything terrible. (and I have a low tolerance for pain - just ask my dentist) So the hospital told me to call back when the contractions got closer together.

In the meantime and to my surprise, Mike was setting out all our Home birth items. For some reason he just knew what was going on and I was still thinking we had a long time to go. In any case, he lit candles and put on my relaxation music. He set up my yoga ball, a chair and a blanket. He got our snacks together and lots of different beverages. I was busy trying out the TENS machine. It's a electric pulse machine that people use for back pain or labor pains here in the UK.  So with the bedroom all set up and inviting; Mike and I waited for things to progress.

Wednesday, October 26th at around midnight I knew that birth was on the horizon. The contractions seemed stronger and closer together. Mike was timing them. I would switch positions from standing to laying on the bed to all fours on the floor to sitting on the floor.  I remember my being really cold and then really hot all in the course of a minute. And in between the contractions I would focus on breathing and relaxation using all the yoga techniques and Hypno Birthing techniques that I knew of. Mike kept feeding me and giving me drinks and encouraging the whole process.  My body began to focus on elimination. I found myself in the bathroom every couple of minutes. By the time 3am rolled around I thought it would be a good idea to call the Hospital again. So I called them and asked them to send the midwife out. A couple minutes later the midwife called and we chatted. She said she was an hour away but that she would be here. So in the meantime, I continued to breath and relax and focus on the contractions. Eventually, I started getting the urge to push during the contractions. It was a truly primal feeling that I couldn't control (although I tried). During this time Mike was starting a bath and encouraged me that I was doing great. (I did say to him that I didn't think I could do it and that we should go to the hospital - typical verbiage from a lady in transition) I got in the warm bath and the urge to push was overwhelming. I was worried because I wasn't in labor long and that's when the midwife arrived. She was surprised to see that I was already pushing. She promptly called the 2nd midwife and told her to come asap with all the equipment. I tried to resist the urge to push but Sophia was ready to come. So with 2 contractions she joined us in the warm tub. She was born at 6:23am and Mike got to take the time.

Sophia and I hung out in the tub for a while until the 2nd midwife arrived. Sophia was perfect! During that time I tried to deliver the after birth but the position I was in just wasn't allowing that to happen. So when the 2nd midwife arrived they stood me up and gravity delivered the afterbirth. Then we walked over to the bedroom to get more light. There they accessed Sophia and I and determined that we were both fine! I had a labia tear so they advised to go to the hospital to have that stitched up. They also allowed Mike to cut the cord at that time. We ended up having a long time of skin to skin contact with both Mike and I and the cord was done pulsating before we cut the cord.

After all that we headed to the hospital where they stitched me up. Had it been a perineum tear they would have done it at our house but since there are so many nerves where the labia is they recommended local numbing.  So they stitched me up and took a look over Sophia to make sure she was okay. She was totally fine! Then we went home.

Looking back I was very vocal during contractions. I was able to tell Mike how I was feeling and what my thoughts were. This is why the midwife was so surprised when she came to our house to find me pushing. That meant that when I talked to her I was going through transition. I practiced Active labor and yoga techniques during contractions and practiced Hypno Birthing relaxation techniques during the down times. This allowed me to focus on resting, rather than pain. And the most important piece of this birth was Mike. He was the best birth companion I could ever ask for. He was calm, encouraging, smiling, force feeding me and just over all an amazing companion. Without his support I would have been scared but seeing his calm face told me that everything was okay.

Sophia Llewellyn Rachanow

Born: October 26th, 2011 at 6:23am

Weighed 7 lbs 8 oz

Born into our family at Home without intervention

Proving that birth (in most cases) is a natural and normal process.  

Due for what?

cute picture of Brian

So today is the day! dun dun dun... Due date! The doctors say that the baby should be here by today! Or should she... turns out in all the classes, reading, researching and everything; a due date isn't a real good judge of when the baby should be here. In fact, a baby can be born 2 weeks before or 2 weeks after this so called Due date. And some times the due date is completely wrong. So then, why do people get so hung up on it?  I think it's public pressure.

I personally haven't had a lot of public pressure. I think because everyone that knows us knows that we will do what we want. We try to stay off the grid (as Mike likes to point out - which makes me think of the Matrix). So I haven't heard a lot of this pressure but the things I have heard are: "Oh, you must be ready to pop!" (nopers!) or "You must be so uncomfortable." (double nopers!)  To me it feels like people just don't know what to say. And of course my degree takes over my head and I start analyzing why people do this...

Here are my rules to talking to a pregnant person:
1. Don't assume that you know how she feels. Cause you don't. We know each woman and baby are different.  So assuming will certainly make an Ass-out of-U and most likely embarrass Me (or the person your speaking with).
2. Don't assume you know her fears or plans or anything! You only know yourself and your fears, plans or anythings. So again don't assume.
3. Be supportive! No matter what this woman is about to go through a life altering experience. Support is needed.
4. Positive language! Even if you don't think pregnant women are particularly beautiful, women need to know that they are beautiful. Emotions, hormones and all those chemicals in her body are running like crazy. You don't want to make her cry.  So positive language is a key ingredient!

5. Save the horror stories!!!!  Everyone has got one or knows someone who has one. But save it till after she has the baby. Positive stories share away!!!

So if now your thinking... 'Well crap! What am I supposed to say now?' I would recommend and have loved when people simply ask me how I'm feeling.  It's simple, to the point. It shows they care. And it's easy to respond to.-------------And the answer is: Good!

---In the coming 11 to 14 days we will be welcoming Baby Rachanow into the world. We have lots of plans but plans are meant to be broken (as I learn with every yoga lesson plan I make). When she arrives I will be writing her birth story and I will let you know all those things you've been wondering about. We may need to compromise on our birth plan but no matter what our ultimate goal is to get her here so she can get on with her life. More fun info to follow----

Fall English Lesson

I bet you thought you knew English. You are so wrong! It feels like we are learning this language all over again and one encounter at a time. 

Did you know in England they call:
Diapers = Nappies
Vegetables or Veggie = Veg
Strollers = Push chair
Mutt (as in dog) = Mongrel
Crazy = Daft
Bacon = Rashers
Chips = Crisps
Fries = Chips
Trash = Rubbish
Trash can = Bin

The conversion rate right now is 1.6 pounds to the $1 US.  It is starting to get dark at 6pm. They don't go Trick or Treating here because of superstition.  So I hear. There are a bunch of Harvest type festivals though. They still do ghost tours too. Ghost tours are big tourist business here. Lots of people have died in England so I guess you can cash in with the tourists.  Which brings me to another fact, tourist season is in the summer so there are cheaper rates now if you come here.

English people do not like Pumpkins! They don't understand why Americans like pumpkins. They will carve them but they don't eat them! On a medium pumpkin here we paid 3pounds which equals $4.80 US. It was outrageous!

Here's a good picture of Brian enjoying the Fall. Mike keeps trying to tell him that he isn't going to be an only child in like a week but I don't think he understands. He's a good dog though.

Home birth or not to Home birth?

So... It's been a while since I last updated our blog and a lot has happened since my last post. Here's a list of all the fun things we have been doing this month:

Mike and Pat at the British Museum

1. Mike's Dad (Pat) came to visit for 2 weeks. We went to London, the North Sea, a Brewery tour, and countless other places that were awesome. We also made it through with only 2 of the 3 of us getting a stomach bug. Woo Hoo!!!
2. Brian the Dog took a plane from Baltimore, Maryland all the way to London, England. Our dog has been to more places then some people I know. He is now living with us in England and loving the yard. It took us 6 months to properly get him here with all the red tape that the UK has.  Luckily, to bring him back will be a piece of cake compared to that.

Katie and Brian at the North Sea

3. Katie is wrapping up teaching yoga this week. Last class is on Friday until after the baby comes. 37 weeks exactly!

***DISCLAIMER - IF YOU ARE PASSIONATE ABOUT BIRTH THIS MAY UPSET YOU - REMEMBER ITS OUR BLOG AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO READ PAST THIS POINT***

4. And finally.... looks like we will be looking very seriously into having a Home birth to welcome our little G into our family. We've decided against the US system (not that there is anything wrong with it) but the base midwifes said that they wouldn't be able to accommodate us in some simple things during birth (ie. changing positions, nutrition, calming music and lighting - things that we see as basic needs for birth).  Since our pregnancy has been normal and non-exciting across the board we feel that there is no need for intervention right off the bat. (we don't live our lives thinking.. What if?!?! - If we did we probably wouldn't be living in England)  So the British system offered some alternatives that suited us better. But with everything we will need to compromise.

Our first choice is Home birth. Today we had a sonogram to determine if this was possible and luckily IT IS!!! The baby is head down and laying toward the left which means she won't have to turn and make labor longer for mom. Her weight is normal and all her measurements are coming up Rainbows. With home birth we will use everything we learned through Hypnobirthing and yoga to deliver the baby into a calm and stress less house hold. We would rent a birthing pool ( 80% of home births in the UK are done in a pool) and we are prepared to have Mike be the birthing companion (he is the companion no matter what anyway). The midwives (2) will come to us and help us through the entire process in the comfort of our own home. The compromise - If someone else goes into labor at home before me then we will have to go to the hospital. So the we have to pack our bags anyway and find a sitter for Brian. - If something happens we will be transferred to the local hospital.

Our second choice is The Rosie Hospital. I love the name of this hospital! It's in Cambridge and just sounds strong to me. At this British hospital we will be cared for by midwives rather than OB's. They have 2 separate floors - one for high risk (OB care) and one for regular (Midwives).  If you are low risk you will always be seen by a Midwife (I think because OB's are expensive and the health care here is free to the public). And they will help you through birth. The Hospital has pools for birthing (total plus!!!) and they are used to letting the mom's do what they need to do to have the baby. So eating, drinking, soft lighting, music, birth balls, stools and beds are all included.  They also have the drugs, if you need them. The compromise - Your partner (Mike) can only stay with you as long as your in active labor. You do not get your own room after having the baby (they do let you stay with your baby as long as you need for bonding) but if you stay over night and your not in active labor then your partner will have to go home and come back the next day. Luckily, if you do not get an epidural and you and baby are fine they usually discharge you the same day. (Because they have local midwives that come to your house to check on you and baby).

Fun fact - In the UK, women get 6 Months (not weeks) paid maternity leave!

So the pros and cons are on the table. We've planned everything out but plans are meant to be broken. Right now we are living in the moment and staying positive.  Living by our mantra - Do what you want!

Details to follow....

Virtual Baby Shower!

On September 10th my Mom, Sharon, Mandy, Sue and Anjel threw us a virtual baby shower. Your probably thinking what is that?!? I was as well. I wasn't sure exactly how it would work out but with Mike and David's powers combined they made the virtual connection from the UK to Maryland. And then my Dad joined in from New York. 

It was crazy! Who knew that technology could bring us into this new age where we can have parties right over the computer screen. Or in our case the TV screen! In case your interested in something similar we used Skype group chat at first but was having a hard time keeping the connection good so we switched to Google Plus Hang out! Remember there are a ton of free sites to do video chat and now you can keep in touch with people that you never thought was possible.

Love technology! 

Shakespeare country!

Shakespeare's grave

Did you know: That there are some that believe that Shakespeare didn't write all those great plays that we all learned about in school? People like Mark Twain, etc believe that Shakespeare was a businessman and that he just took the credit of another's work. And if that is true, then everything we learned in school about him was a lie! Dun dun dun....  

On the way to the theatre

Never the less... Shakespeare country is just beautiful! Included in our journey is Stratford-upon-Avon. This is where Shakespeare was born, lived (moved to London), then came back to retire and die. We also hit the Cotswolds. A part of English countryside with some cute and sleepy towns.  All this about 2 hours from our house in Ely.

Tourism is a #1 money maker in England. And the Shakespeare countryside doesn't disappoint with tourist prices and lots to see and do. You can go to all the 5 places where Shakespeare and his family lived. But it's extra to see his grave in the church. We even went to the theatre to see a Shakespeare play and we had to get the tickets 3 months out. But it's all worth it! 

Ghost cat!

Further south (like 15 minutes away) is the Cotswolds! This area is a rich and beautiful secluded countryside. Lots of little towns that were once famous because of the wool trade. The sheep are still there but the business has dried up a bit. We ran into a couple other tourists in Stow-on-the-Wold that were following the same tour book that we follow. (BTW - if I didn't recommend it before, the Rick Steves' Europe guide books are awesome!) We also had an encounter of the haunted kind at Chipping Camden. 

Chipping Camden Cemetery - where ghost cat lives

As we approached the church (complete with cemetery) I read a story in the book about this cat that used to great parishioners before service. Well that cat passed away in 1980 and they buried him by the door of the church. We were touring the church just as service started so we scooted out into the cemetery to look around and what did we find. A weird cemetery cat! Hanging out and very friendly. A decedent, maybe. A ghost, more likely. =) 

Poland - one of my Motherlands...

All good stories start with... I have this friend...

RK! Look closely into his sunglasses!

The K family!

But really we do have this friend... let's call him... RK.  Mike's known him for ever! And I guess that means that I've known him for over 10 years or so. Anyway, he is from Poland and for over 10 years we have been hearing these crazy stories about when he used to live in Poland. So we decided it would be fun to go see if these stories were real. And turns out they Are!!!

Gdasnk main street

Church in Gdansk

RK is from a place in Poland that is a lot like Maryland. There is beach, hills, woods and city all in a very close distance. We went to Sopot, Gdasnk and Gdynia. All three areas are real close to each other and full of fun and fascination! Our home base was Sopot because that was in between the other 2 cities. Sopot was a fun little touristy (Polish touristy - not American touristy) town right on the Baltic Sea. We did a lot of eating and lounging around in Sopot (perfect for this 31 week pregnant gal). Then we took a train to Gdansk for a glimpse of the large 'end of the season' market. Lots of history in Gdansk and again lots of touristy things to do.  RK says that Gdansk was started in the 900's AD. They have a huge church that appeared to be constructed out of brick in the 1300's.  The inside was really interesting because the walls were white. We've never been in a church where the walls were so white! I think that was a byproduct of communism since people didn't have the money to paint.  But I don't know for sure.  

From the Baltic Sea looking at Gdynia

After Gdasnk we hit Gdynia. Only about 15 minutes up the road from Sopot. Gdynia was were RK grew up. It has a lot of the charm of the Baltimore city inner harbor (except blue water).  They have a port, an aquarium, tons of shopping and restaurants and an over all fun attitude. 

Gdasnk tourture

Things that we found interesting and challenging in Poland = language and culture! The language sounded like nothing I've ever heard before. Yeah, we've heard RK speak Polish before but it's different when everyone around you is speaking it.  For me picking up French or German is way easier. And the culture... oh the culture! So in England everyone stands in lines (que's) in Poland it's a mass free for all (even if your pregnant or have a baby with you)! Getting on and off the plane was the worst! Mike thinks it's because the average age in Poland is younger than in the states. I don't know what it's from.  All I know is that based on all the places we've been so far this was the first time that we've ever been to a place were there was once communism. And you can definitely see it in the architecture with most things being built with concrete (even light poles). Sky rise apartment complexes that are usually considered 'projects' in the states are great housing in Poland.  It's amazing and fascinating and very Eastern European!

Gdansk Wall Art

Left over Cold War tunnels in Gdynia

PS - The best "Polish" story we have is that while eating at a restaurant Mike tried to put salt on his salad. He couldn't understand why it didn't taste right and it turns out that there was sugar in the salt container.  We all had a real good laugh about that!